future primitive has the handmade treats you need!

My two Future Primitive orders, complete with a lovely little business card!
My adventure in Future Primitive's wonderland of bath & body goodies began a while back when there was some discussion about companies that make their things from scratch. Future Primitive is one of these companies, with the added bonus of being UK-based, which means no worrisome import taxes or obscenely high shipping worries! If you're EU-based Future Primitive is worth checking out for that alone, in spite of the pound's eternally sky-high conversion rate.

You heard the soap! get in here!

Future Primitive's Creme Rinse in Smoked Mexican Chocolate.
I initially was looking for an alternative shampoo, as the Pantene I'd picked up at the grocer was leaving my hair less than amazing and more like straw than actual hair. Indie shampoos can be a dangerous territory, mostly because it's important the product isn't too high or too low on the pH scale, lest it leave your hair in a worse state than when you started. If you're interested in learning more, this was a wonderful post linked to me by someone on IMAM explaining the bulk of it.

I will say I did order some pH strips off eBay for the purpose of testing various indie products I've bought, but since they're paper, which is more prone to error, I cannot guarantee my accuracy or say with confidence that my results are conclusive or safe for you to rely on. That said, I did test the In the Pines Whipped Soap (by first mixing it with a bit of water to form a solution) more than once and came out with a solid 5-6 every time. Tiggy, the owner of Future Primitive, markets it as a "3-in-1" product for use as soap, shampoo or shaving cream. I felt safe to use it on my hair and my myself the guinea pig here, and I'm happy to say I'm pleased with the results!

In the Pines Whipped Soap.
The jar is very large but also very light!
Using the combo of the whipped soap and cream rinse has left my hair feeling very clean and soft and smelling like amazing smoked chocolate. (More on that in a moment.) I'm highly (read: totally 100% definitely)  considering more.

Reminds me of wonderful childhood funtimes destroying the Dove bar in the bathtub. ♥

In the Pines Whipped Soap: The whipped soap texture is nice, very soft and creamy. It reminds me of when I was little and I'd let the Dove soap bar sit in the water of the bath and it'd get all mushy and soft. (Everyone else did that as a kid too, right?) It's very easy to get to lather on wet hair or on skin with a bath puff as long as you've gotten said body part plenty saturated with water first. I've used this for several showers at this point and I can tell it's going to last a while. You only need a small amount, maybe the size of a large coin or so. It also smells incredible, like fresh Christmas trees. There's a bit of rosewood I get under there too, but for the mostpart opening the tub is like walking straight into a fresh pine forest. It's amazingly true to life and not the remotest bit fake or nauseatingly air-freshener like. I'm totally smitten.

Smoked Mexican Chocolate Creme Rinse: The scent name is quite a mouthful but also insanely necessary. This isn't just "chocolate", no, this is delicious slightly spicy and smoky rich deep dark chocolate. It smells sweet but also a bit like bonfire smoke at the same time. It's wonderfully neutral and foody without being too foody, I think almost anyone could get into this. It's so good I also went back for a bar of soap in this same scent!

 The creme rinse is thinner than your standard store ones nowadays, very milky and thin, not like water but more like melted ice cream. Despite the thinness it's very easy to coat your hair and get good silky smoothness all over your strands with it. It leaves my hair just as soft and silky as regular conditioner, but with less of the silicone-y coated feeling when rinsing. (Not that there's anything wrong with silicones though, they certainly have their place.) My only (very minor) gripe with it is that the bottle is very hard plastic, which makes it difficult to squeeze out the product, instead you kinda have to wait for it to run out of the nozzle. It's not like it takes forever or anything, but I'm a terribly impatient person, so I always find myself impulsively squeezing, only to have my arthritis bite me in the ass (or y'know, fingers) when the hard plastic resists. Aside from that though it's a nice, decently sized bottle that will last through plenty of showers, since it also doesn't take an overly large amount to get the deed done.

And afterwards it still softly scents the hair! I'm always getting out of the shower and doing the L'oreal commercial style hairflip to get a delicious whiff of smoky chocolate deliciousness.

Warning: not delicious fudge.
Smoked Mexican Chocolate Soap: I already raved about this scent above, and it's just as good in bar form. I haven't ripped this open yet, since I'm still working my way through Arcana's Yurt soap, but I do have a sliver of Future Primitive's Snowdrift soap sitting by my kitchen sink, and I'm in love with the lather. It's creamy and silky soft and doesn't leave my hands feeling dry or stripped after rinsing. The design of the soaps are beautiful too, with this deep dark slab of Smoked Mexican Chocolate being topped with a dusting of cocoa powder and nutmeg. My girlfriend had commented on Arcana's Yurt, "It looks like fudge, I want to eat it," so I will be keeping this one tucked far away from her, since it not only looks like delicious fudge but smells like it.

Soap bar description and the ingredients, the labels are so nicely done!
I'm very happy to keep this tucked away in my cabinet for a treat when I finish off my Arcana bar!

Last up is my small trial addition to my order, a mini jar of Future Primitive's Body Whip ifrom their general catalogue.

Is it a good witch...or a bad witch?
White Witch Body Whip: This was the only item I ordered in mini size, as everything else only had a fullsize option. I've been looking for a good body moisturizer, since in winter my back and shoulders are prone to getting a bit dry and itchy fresh out of the shower. White Witch is a general catalogue scent that's a blend of geranium and black patchouli oils for something described as "earthy and creamy".

Fullsize Whipped Soap vs mini Body Whip.
Overall, I'm not totally sold on the scent. I'm pretty sure it's not the scent though, it's me. The scent is good once it fades a bit, but on fresh out of the jar the geranium turns a bit weirdly artificial smelling on me? It's not a good combo, but it's bearable if I don't inhale too deeply. The scent power of this is strong though, much more powerful than any of the soap or creme rinse scents. Once on it has really powerful sillage and staying power. I think if this was a scent I was head over heels for it'd be much more pleasant, but because I'm not too into it the strength of the scent is a little much.

"I'm not a witch at all, I'm Dorthy...from Kansas!"
The texture of this is divine though. Unfortunately I have yet to make a Haus of Gloi order, so I cannot compare it to any other formulas out there, but I like it very much. It's thick but still has a distinct whipped texture, you can feel the air bubbles and hear them snap as you pull a bit from the container. It's  thick and rich and a bit sticky and hard to spread because it's so rich and sinks in so quickly. However, that is also a bonus, because since it sinks in so quickly it doesn't feel greasy at all. It's a nice thick, rich moisturizer that absorbs fast and sticks around. It might leave your hands a teensy bit "sticky" feeling if you use too much, but overall it's a great heavy-duty cream for your winter blues.

Future Primitive's Valentines release is just around the corner tomorrow, so if you've been looking for a shop full of lovely handmade goodies with unique and true scents to sample, this is your choice. Treat your sweetheart...or yourself.

Where to buy: Future Primitive; prices are in GBP and vary per product.


  1. Hi, just came across your blog as I was searching for a review for futureprim conditioning rinse, and you may have convinced me to try it. :) I am already addicted to her bar soaps and using the whipped soap as shampoo... It is the best I have tried on my hair which is super fine, thin and kinda damaged (a nightmare to please basically).

    I bought the White Witch body whip a year ago, and I just wanted to say that I didn't get along with it either at first. I bought Rook&Raven at the same time and just used that instead because I thought the White Witch was way too powerful for me. But a few days ago I ran out of body butter and was rooting through my stash of forgotten stuff and found this old jar of White Witch, and I was desperate so I tried it.. and wow, it has mellowed out into a still strong but not sharp or overpowering smell. I actually really enjoy it now. So I thought it might work for you too to let it age for a while and try it again! It is still a very powerful scent, but much more refined and balanced now :)

  2. My hair is really thick but I find the conditioner not too heavy at all, so I think on fine hair it's work really nice too! White Witch I realized more and more I'm getting along with the more I use it! I'm almost out of it and now I find myself enjoying the scent more...it grows on you!!

  3. Ok cool, thanks! I can hardly put anything on my hair, it will either just go limp and glue itself along my skull so I look like I poured a bucket of syrup on my head, or it goes really really static... I often don't use any conditioner at all because they are always too much for my thin hair to handle... but if this one is light then I think I will give it a try :)

    Yeah, White Witch does grow on you, I am super sensitive though and I had to wait for it to soften but now I love it :D Patchouli is so hit and miss, it can be sooo overpowering or simply divine, and I think Futureprim usually gets it right!

  4. She really does make great scents, I'm looking forward to seeing what her Spring lineup will be!




peachy noon

Meet The Author

Noon. 25. American born, Finland residing. I really love dogs.